Dear Sophie,

I have a terrible secret and I don't want to tell it, but I feel like I should.

I saw my best friend's wife out with another man at a club Friday night. They looked very intimate, practically making out, up until she saw me and then they left shortly afterward. I'm supposed to hang out with them next weekend, and I don't know how I am going to handle it. Any advice?

Torn

Dear Torn,

Well, then. You have a couple of options.

First, if possible it's always good to let that person who is busted come clean on her own. Let her know that you feel strongly that you cannot keep this secret from your friend (let's call him Joe). Give her the opportunity to come forward herself and let your friend know what happened. Whether she tells the truth or not, shouldn't matter to you. Only that she was seen with this man by his best friend.

What if she refuses to come clean? You owe it to Joe to tell him that you saw her out with another man. You cannot, however, embellish or speculate on what you saw. Stick with the facts. Reassure him that you don't want to cause trouble, you're simply letting him know something that you yourself would like to know if the shoe were on the other foot.

It's a risky thing to do, you could cause friction between you and Joe. But if you consider him your best friend, and he yours, you are close enough to catch each other's back and be grateful for it.

Love,
Sophie

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