A dear, dear friend of mine called me this morning and asked if he could get my advice. (I love it when that happens!) He is seeing a woman who is extricating herself from a failed marriage and the situation is and has been really messy. She's in no financial position to just begin with a fresh new home full of new belongings and the material things from their shared life are constant reminders of the pain and suffering they shared and, most likely, angry feelings about the way things were going with the divorce. Is eradication of these things from their lives necessary for moving on? Can one "make peace" with material belongings infused with our darker histories?

I recommended a ceremony of some kind, whether it be a traditional smudging with smoking herbs or a purification ritual of simply taking a hot shower with candles and scent in the air. Maybe a series of long hikes in the forest to realign ourselves, to stir the pot that is our soul and work those things that have sunk to the bottom of the soup back into the diffused joy of daily life. In that sense, they take on new contexts. Contextual meaning can be everything. Think about that song that brings a lump to your throat or tears to your eyes every time you hear it, which is always by surprise because you would never intentionally put yourself through that. Is the song lost to you forever? Or can you stir it back into the soup and find new relevance, new meaning, new context by which to still love it?

Think about the things you have let sink to the bottom ... and whether they are worth retrieving. In the end, there are some we want back and some things we think best left there or thrown out with the scraps and replaced entirely. Or not ever replaced, simply ... no longer there.

In my house? Something old, something new.

Speaking of new ... a shout out to V.H., a diamond I found and am holding onto. She is light, she is joy, she is the epitome of love incarnate. We all admire her.

Love,
Sophie

(Communicate via sophieseriously at gmail dot com)