I've heard a lot about holiday depression lately. A sinking feeling that comes with Halloween and doesn't clear until after the New Year. Some withdraw completely and others might walk around in a fog of isolation, feeling invisible (and even liking it that way) or mildly frightened by the decadence or hopeless in the gift-wrapped reminder that another year has passed and the time has come for reflection.

The thing to remember is that it's all so very relative. If you think of the world in a much larger perspective, outside of the paradigms of your existence (your neighborhood, your social class, your people, your experiences, your history, your tastes and distastes), you can't help but be reminded of a few things. Like how incredibly lucky you are, no matter who you are. And how little those things matter. THOSE THINGS being the money, the perfect body, the fast car, the immaculate house, the enviable job. When you think about it, we're all struggling in some way or another and you can't really tell by looking at someone, even someone you know well, and assume how easy or hard are their struggles.

As far as I know, and speaking strictly from my own experience, the root of most people's depression is in the despair they get from comparing themselves to others they consider more fortunate. The sad thing, the counterproductive aspect of that practice, is that they look at the wrong things, the wrong people. For those depressed, they see only their own failings rather than their own blessings and they see only the blessings of others, rather than their struggles.

In other words, if the same practice were applied to those struggling with adversity rather than winning the lottery---we would be reminded not only of how very fortunate we each are, but that we are not alone in our struggles. The feeling of isolation comes from believing that no one understands us, no one appreciates us, no one cares about our struggles. In fact, many of those we are observing passively with envy are themselves observing us with the same level of envy because they are likewise unaware.

It is an utter waste for us to continue to walk through our days in isolation; we owe it to ourselves and to each other to DO THE HARD THING and burst out of our bubble to not only SEE what others' lives are like, but to support them as we would like to be supported.

Strangely enough, once we start helping someone else, that feeling of productivity and purpose is soooooo therapeutic.

So this holiday season, if you are struggling with depression, give yourself a gift: volunteer for a local nonprofit. Call the United Way and they can guide you to a cause that needs you most and which fits your interests and talents. Everyone has interests and talents, even if it's sitting and reading to an elderly patient long forgotten by family or delivering a meal to a homebound neighbor. You can't participate in life and hold on to your depression.

Hopefully it goes without saying that if your depression comes to the point of limiting you in terms of work or home life, or if you have feelings of wanting to hurt someone or yourself, a professional must get involved. If you know someone who is suffering to that extent, your support can help make that connection with professional resources.

Are we our brothers keeper? Absolutely. Otherwise, why are we here?

Love,
Sophie