Dear Sophie,

Seriously, I'm a mess. My life is so disorganized and it's obvious in my home. I typically like a well-ordered environment but lately I find myself just not caring so much. I feel overwhelmed by all there is to do and I feel like it's all on me to do it. Where am I ever going to get the motivation to get my life caught up?

It's bills, paperwork, laundry, the basement, the closets. I feel like it's bulging at the seams, ready to explode and I'm getting exhausted holding my back against the dyke.

How do I get started?

Spinning in Circles

Dear Spinning:

Getting started is as easy and as excruciating as taking the first step.

First, assess the tasks at hand. Let's say it's bills, paperwork, laundry, the basement, the closets. Literally, make a written list of all the projects that need to be done and can be accomplished in 2-3 hours or less. For instance, instead of 'clean garage', break it into: sort garage, haul off trash, deliver donations, go to flea market. You could do that in outline form, starting with larger chunks and then breaking down the steps.

The reason for doing that is two-fold: one, you create a list of manageable tasks that might seem less overwhelming when taken one at the time. And two, it will help to have them broken down when it comes to prioritizing. For instance, it might be important to sort a few closets in various rooms before you haul trash, deliver donations or have that flea market table.

So the second step is to do just that: prioritize. It might even help to put each task on an index card so that you can reorder them as necessary. Or create the list on the computer so that it's easily edited.

Make a list of all the tools and supplies you need in advance. Do you have what you need to do the job? For instance, if you still haven't filed your taxes, do you have the necessary papers in hand to do the work?

Basically, I'm suggesting that you organize, in writing, the step-by-step process you will take to regain control.

Take the most pressing task, and focus purely on it and daily survival. Step over the rest of the mess and dedicate yourself to taking care of your most immediate priority, probably paying the bills. Turn off the television, disconnect the ringer on the phone and put every ounce of energy you have into just doing that one step.

When you're finished, congratulate yourself and take a break. Reward yourself with a tv show or good magazine. If you have sparked the motivation to tackle another task immediately, go for it, even if it's out of order while your "iron is hot." It's better to do SOMETHING than nothing, and if folding clothes while you watch tv will get the clothes folded, go for it!

For really long, hard jobs you might need to take frequent breaks, either alternating with less laborious but productive endeavors, or simply resting. In any case, if you exhaust yourself or give yourself an anxiety attack over it, it will never get done.

Start crossing items off the list. Don't throw away the list; in fact, post the accomplished chores on the fridge or some other prominent place so that you can be reminded of what you've done and what you're capable of doing. Might sound silly, but it can be very inspiring.

If none of these suggestions help, perhaps calling in a professional or trusted friend for some help or company might be good. We tend to more motivated in other's company, and as Mary Poppins said, "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down."

Whatever you do, you have to start and start soon or you'll just slip into the quicksand of inactivity. Don't worry about how long it takes as long as you're making SOME progress. If the projects are really long-term, give yourself a day or afternoon or evening off every week or so in order to avoid burnout.

Keep looking back at what you've done as you look ahead at what you're to tackle next. Hope this helps.


Love,
Sophie

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