I know SOOOO many people who are in or approaching midlife (or later) and are depressed. They haven't accomplished as much as they'd wanted, they're in dead-end jobs or boring careers, they're in debt beyond their ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel, they're in unfulfilling relationships that have sapped the life out of them but they are not motivated to either change the relationship or get out of it. Most of these folks seem mired in fear.

But how do you banish fear? It's scary! But less so with a plan. Courage is not the absence of fear, it's the ability to face the fear and work through it. There is nothing brave or courageous about accomplishing things that were never a challenge to begin with.

For those in this situation, wondering how they'll ever find themselves out, I suggest a simple and useful tool that has done amazing things for me. The Five Year Plan (FYP). My FYP is always changing as goals are accomplished, or my path rerouted in the face of new information or motivations. In other words, it's not a COMMITMENT to the final outcome, only a commitment to the process of pursuing it. Action is action, no matter which direction it's in. But so many of us have trouble making that first step because we are either overwhelmed with fear and/or have no idea in which direction we're headed. It's like going out for groceries without knowing where the store is or heading to the store we know without an idea of what we want to buy.

My FYP is one that includes all aspects of my life: personal (relationships), health, professional. educational (because I'm a life-long learner), and financial.

It doesn't HAVE to be in writing, but it's helpful if you've never worked with a five-year plan before. The long term nature of this plan acknowledges that changes don't happen overnight and that they take a tremendous amount of effort, patience, courage, resources. Think of your life as a big cruise ship---you can't turn that ship on a dime, you need to have a wide berth and plenty of time.

So think about picking just one of those areas, the one that most needs your attention. List your options. What are the costs and benefits of each option? Do other areas of your life need to change in order to accommodate your plan in that area? What do you need to do to initiate those changes?

For instance, once I had to find a new job. I had a job already, so didn't have the time to search during the day. I worked at it online at night. I made a goal to send out at least one application per week and found my dream job about 6 weeks later.

I wanted to get out of credit card debt. I knew I couldn't pay it off at credit card interest rates, so I devised a plan to refinance my home to lower the rate so that I could pay it off faster. But first I had to improve my credit to get the best possible rate. I reviewed and corrected my credit report, I paid off smaller debts and I shopped for refi packages. A year later, I was out of credit card debt, but the debt was transferred from my equity. So that became the next step ...

You get the idea. If you don't own a home, you figure out how to buy one. If you don't have the degree you need for the job you want, you figure out how to get back in school. If you don't have the car you need to make the trip to the new job, you work on the car first. As Bill Murray chanted in What About Bob?---"littletinybabysteps, littletinybabysteps"---they may be tiny, but they are steps in a direction, SOME direction that will ultimately lead you to somewhere new. Which is way better than still sitting on the couch, complaining about your lot in life.

So what's your goal? What's your plan? January 1st is coming soon. I quit smoking on January 1st two years ago, a feat I thought I could never accomplish. But I did it with littletinybabysteps and a simple plan that led me out of my addiction to nicotine.

There is no end to the possibilities of the world you can create for yourself.

Love,
Sophie

SophieSeriously ...at... gmail dot com