The cool thing about rationalization? It's rational.

Rationalization has somehow acquired a negative association over the ages. Not to be confused with "justifying" one's ill behaved ways, rationalization is a valuable tool of survival.

When the world doesn't make the least bit of sense, when it's clear that there's no way in hell that justice will prevail, when you have that feeling you might be suddenly waking up in the middle of a bad movie --- rationalize.

Apply logic and reason. This person is treating you this way because she is sick or crazy or mean. The system is unfair because it is corrupt, money-driven and everyone knows it. It's not your fault. Look around you. Take note of extenuating circumstances and above all, acknowledge that there is no rule that says that life is fair. People get away with horrible, inhumane and despicable behavior all the time, every day and in every degree. Some do it on lower levels, less violently or intermittently, it occurs in every shade of gray. By giving up the expectation that justice will be served, we open ourselves up to the whole experience of life.

Let's say that a man serves 10 years in prison, much of it on death row, for a crime he does not commit (like the guy last week) --- how does he go on living when he gets out of prison? Consumed by anger and resentment? Better to rationalize that perhaps it saved him from getting killed in some way or gave him life lessons that he needed for some other purpose.

So there is release to be had in coming to a point of angry bewilderment, of feeling unheard, disrespected, ignored, unappreciated, misjudged, violated, abused either by people or by life --- and deciding first, "Is there a thing I can do? Is there a hard thing that will make this right?" And if you are really powerless in the situation to have any positive impact (negative impact is too easy to come by), then consider rationalization.

It's a matter of simply stating the facts. And then reminding yourself of them.

Love,
Sophie

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